Men and Wives Page 14

  “Ah, we cannot judge by the surface. The heart knoweth its own bitterness,” said Godfrey with simple understanding. “And there is a gleam of hope yet. The specialist is to come. We can’t be certain that we shall not hear a better word. The bigger the man, the larger the view.”

  “You have decided after all to give him an ear?” said Matthew.

  “Now why in the world take that tone?” said Godfrey, turning roundly on him. “Why should I hurt an old friend’s feelings? For what reason in the world should I do that? Dufferin has been a good friend to us.”

  “No one can accuse you of ingratitude,” said Gregory.

  “No, no one can,” said Godfrey with a sigh. “If there is anything I can do to serve anyone who has served my wife, that thing is done.”

  “What time does the specialist come to-morrow?” said Griselda.

  “I do not know,” said Godfrey. “I shall not need to discover. It will make no difference. Whatever time he comes I shall be waiting for him.”

  “So shall we all,” said Matthew.

  “Well, I didn’t say you wouldn’t. I should hope you would. It didn’t occur to me that anything else would be possible.”

  “You made the statement about yourself,” said his son.

  “Well, so did you, didn’t you? When are you going to stop insinuating, and throwing up yourself in the worst possible light? We know you are worked up and worried, my poor boy. You understand better than any of us the inner meaning of our trouble. I daresay we don’t any of us face what you are facing. Ah, now, don’t look as if you were misunderstood.”

  “I am not so easily understood,” said Matthew in a gruff mutter. “No one else is thinking of letting this upheaval change his life. I got a glimpse of what Mother thought I ought to do, when I saw her lying ill. I see what she has always meant. I may go to London to get my life into shape there. She will come back and find her black sheep the whitest in the fold.”

  “My dear boy!” said Godfrey, approaching him with an uncertain step, that seemed to represent a doubt of hearing aright. “I don’t know what to say. If my words did not fail me, my spirit would. Not many things could make up to me for your mother’s illness; but it reconciles me to our parting, that you will be using the time to ensure her joyful return. And this is what you were thinking, when you seemed a thought strained and out of sorts! Your heart was full to bursting, and I hadn’t an inkling of the depths within you. If anyone understands it now you have said a word, it is your father.”

  “I rather feel I put the last straw that day when I drove her away from breakfast,” said Matthew, lifting his head and speaking more easily; “the day when she went to Dufferin to get what she thought she wanted. I did not know how ill she was, and it was I who should have known. I had better go and learn the things I ought to know. The other work comes later, if it comes at all.”

  “My boy, my heart at once aches and cries aloud. My tongue cleaves to my mouth and is silent. Here I have been going my unconscious way, with you at my side, heartsick, racked by remorse! I ought to have gauged your nature. You and I will go our way together.”

  Godfrey took Matthew’s arm and led him from the room, addressing himself to his purpose in letter as well as in spirit.

  Chapter XIV

  “There, My Dear one, there, my own, you are just going from one haven to another,” said Godfrey, as he followed the chair that bore his wife, conscious but recognising no one, from his house. “We will soon have you home now, for it will be home where your husband sees you every day. No, it isn’t good-bye. I shall be over to see you in the morning.”

  Godfrey bent over Harriet’s hand, while her eyes rested vacantly on him, and turned at once to the house, openly giving no meaning to the empty parting; and the carriage containing Harriet, Gregory and a nurse, moved down the drive. The father went swiftly to the library and almost burst open the door.

  “My poor child, my poor boys, I fear you are upset. You should not have been allowed to witness what you have. It is a ghastly thing for you to see your mother taken from her home in her helplessness. It may well make an impression that will go with you to your graves. I ought to have shut you up and taken it all on myself. And I put myself under it as far as I was able. I saw you safe in here, and gathered the whole thing on to my own shoulders. But we wish we had done more, the more we have done. I declare I could find it in me to blame myself.”

  “Would you see anyone, Sir Godfrey?” said Buttermere in a hushed tone, putting his head round the door instead of throwing it wide in his usual way. “Mr. Bellamy is coming up the drive.”

  “Yes, yes. Show him in. We have no secrets,” said the master in a voice correspondingly clear. “We are quite prepared to see our friends. Griselda, it is only the rector. What are you running away for?”

  “Mother seemed not to like me to see too much of him,” said Griselda, pulling her hand from her father’s and escaping from the room.

  “Ah, her father has sympathy with her,” said Godfrey, sighing. “That is to be the lie of things now, I see, this following her wishes. Well, I shall make it my life to do the same, until she comes back to us. And then we shall all do it doubly of course. Well, so here is the rector coming to see us! I suppose it is because of all this happening. How it has got about so soon puts me at a loss. Well, we have done nothing to be ashamed of. Few men have thought less of themselves than I have the last week. Well, Rector, you find us a broken family to-day. My wife has to spend a little while away from us. No doubt you have heard. The time may not be long, but we are finding it hard to begin it.”

  “Haslam, all theories of pastoral duty go to the winds, but my wish to see you as a friend has forced me to indulge myself. You know how I have looked up to your wife, how I have felt myself the weaker, smaller creature. You can’t feel it more wrong than I do that I should be strong and useless while she is laid aside.”

  “My dear boy, we appreciate what you say. At this moment such words are as oil poured into our wounds. We do not hail you as useless while you can say them.”

  “It has come very heavy on all of them,” said Bellamy, looking round. “Is Griselda more upset than she has to be?”

  “Ah, knocked utterly on the ground,” said Godfrey in a deep tone. “Laid out so completely that she has to go to her room. We none of us feel a jot or a tittle compared with her. Well, in a sense a mother gives everything to her only girl.”

  “I will come to hear how she is to-morrow. And to-day I will thank you for letting me say my word, and cease to be. Matthew, you are the person I envy at the moment. You can do something. I wish I had a man’s work in life.”

  “Ah, if anyone has that, it is that boy, Rector,” said Godfrey with half-guilty confidence. “If I could tell you what he is setting before himself, your tears would mingle with mine.”

  “Then don’t do it, for Bellamy’s sake,” muttered Matthew.

  “Yes, and for your own sake, my boy,” said Godfrey with tender extenuation. “You need not be uneasy. Your father will not betray you. You don’t want an audience about just this, and just now. It is no wonder and an honour to you. I won’t give your little secret away. It is too big to my mind for that. I will only say that I envy you. I wish there was some sacrifice I could make for your mother, that I could give up my aims and my hopes for her sake.”

  “Sir Percy and Lady Hardisty!” said Buttermere, in happy ignorance of the service he rendered, flinging open the door as though, if things were to be in this way, so they should be.

  “Percy and Rachel? Must you be going, Rector? Now how has it got about to Percy and Rachel? It seems a thing has only to happen, to be at the four corners of the world. Good news does not fly so fast. If that has never been said, it ought to have been. It ought to be a saying. If I have made a saying, I have made one.” Godfrey put his hand on Bellamy’s arm in amends for his complication of thought at parting. “Here are Percy and Rachel falling on us out of space! And call her Lady Hardisty, Gregory,
if you please, and if you don’t please, because I won’t have anything else. I have been through too much to be put about by trifles. How are you, Rachel? How are you, Hardisty? This is good and kind.”

  “Haslam, my dear old friend!” said Sir Percy. “I had to see for myself how all of you were. You will understand me?”

  “He really had to, Godfrey,” said Rachel, “and you are not even trying to understand.”

  “Well, you can see for yourself, Hardisty. We are together, trying to support each other. It is no more than that.”

  “Of course not. That is doing justice to Harriet,” said Rachel.

  “My little Griselda?” said Sir Percy.

  “I can hear her coming downstairs,” said Rachel. “We are the only intruders she can face. Did the rest of you bear with Mr. Bellamy? She is the only one who has given us a true welcome. I will repay her by keeping the house for a few days. You can’t learn to be father and mother in a moment, Godfrey. I must take Harriet’s place.”

  “Rachel, that is a heartening word. That gives me courage. I was at my wits’ end what to do for my poor children.”

  “I hoped you would make too much of it. People are known to exaggerate kindness in trouble, just when it seems they would think it only natural. It makes kindness such true economy that we have to take advantage of our friends’ misfortunes. I have heard that at other times it is taken as a matter of course, but I hardly believe that can really happen. Percy, it is not you who is to take Harriet’s place, and there must be someone to go on bringing up Polly. Mellicent has not recovered from being brought up herself. Just tell them how you respect them for having a real experience, and say good-bye.”

  “Ah, yes, a real experience; I cannot judge what it must be,” said Sir Percy, withdrawing without imposing the effort of farewells.

  “Be just to your early life, my dear,” said his wife. “And this is a chance for you to go home and live in it again. You cannot call for me until after the working party.”

  “What working party?” said Godfrey.

  “The working party that Harriet and Gregory give, to make brightness for Geraldine Dabis and to clothe the poor. Gregory calls people by their Christian names, and Harriet cuts out. I don’t wonder it is Harriet who has had the breakdown. I cannot cut out. I don’t mean I consider personal risks with Harriet ill, but I am very little fitted for real life. Geraldine would be so jealous if she knew. In other things I will take Harriet’s place; there is nothing else real. Percy, if you go this moment, you won’t coincide with Dominic Spong. I discern him with the long sight of old age. It is a great disadvantage to be old. How officious of him to come to condole! Doing a thing gives you so much understanding of it. We won’t say good-bye, my dear; it would look like thinking of ourselves.”

  “Say, rather, au revoir Lady Hardisty,” said Dominic, appearing in Sir Percy’s stead, and pausing by Rachel, with his eyes averted in delicacy from the family. “Meeting you here lifts a great load off my mind. Sir Godfrey, at the risk of appearing obtrusive, I am inflicting my presence, feeling that if in anyone’s heart a corresponding chord is touched, it is in mine.”

  “You are good, Spong, you are good. We should be badly off if it were not for the thought of our friends.”

  “Without being presumptuous enough to take my stand in that capacity by the side of Lady Hardisty, I yet feel that a sympathetic word is due from one man to another at such a time. I do not forget, Sir Godfrey, your kindness to me, and not only yours, when my own hour came.”

  “Yes, yes, Spong, thank you, thank you. And I will depend on you to serve us further and share our family dinner to-night. You will not deny us, as Hardisty has done. Perhaps we could expect no more of him, after what he has left with us.” Dominic turned a smile of full corroboration to Rachel. “But we will trust you to do better by us in yourself.”

  “Sir Godfrey, it is true that I can do nothing in these days except through that often unsatisfactory medium. But I fear I should be but a poor substitute for Sir Percy Hardisty.”

  “We are not talking about substitutes. We are asking, for yourself,” said Godfrey.

  “No, Sir Godfrey,” said Dominic, shaking his head, as if he had shown too little reluctance for the hospitality. “I could not dream of intruding upon you on a night when you all must feel that only one presence could complete your family circle. I should be the last to consider myself the one equal to filling that place.”

  “That place is filled. I am here instead of Lady Haslam,” said Rachel. “But won’t you stay as a friend? I ask you as her deputy.”

  “Since you put it in that way, Lady Hardisty, I cannot do otherwise than acquiesce.”

  “Capital,” said Godfrey.

  “A great kindness on your part, and a privilege on mine, Sir Godfrey,” said Dominic, substituting his own choice of fitting words.

  “Well, we must get ready for dinner,” said Rachel.

  Dominic stepped towards her.

  “Lady Hardisty, I have not the means of ‘getting ready’, as I came unexpectant of, and accordingly unprepared for the invitation; but if I may have the opportunity of what is termed a wash and brush-up, I shall feel myself less unfitted for your presence.”

  “Matthew will take care of you. I am doing what his mother would wish, and not allowing his father to be used as a host to-night.”

  “I am more than reconciled to being handed over to the kindly offices of Matthew, our future host in this house, or I should rather say our present deputy host; for although I am a family lawyer, and as such concerned with future generations, I am not one to anticipate the cry: ‘The King is dead. Long live the King.’”

  “Why did you have Spong to dinner, and not Sir Percy?” Jermyn asked Rachel on the stairs.

  “Because Mr. Spong came to dinner and Percy did not,” said Rachel. “Gregory, call to Buttermere that we don’t want anything extra to eat. I am sure Mr. Spong will not eat before Griselda and me, such a physical thing to do. I don’t think I will take your mother’s place as far as having the room opening out of your father’s, Griselda. It isn’t that I wouldn’t do everything for him, but I have had so much of things consecrated to early romance.”

  “Well, we are not to be alone on this first night of our new life,” said Godfrey, as they gathered in the drawing-room. “We are to have some compensation.”

  “I am sure, Sir Godfrey,” said Dominic, “that neither Lady Hardisty nor I would see ourselves in that light.”

  “I have come on purpose to be seen in it,” said Rachel. “You are fortunate to be a chance guest, Mr. Spong. It does seem more sensitive.”

  “Lady Hardisty, I was far from making that comparison. Now if Miss Griselda can bring herself to tolerate an escort so many years her senior, I shall be happy to do my best to bridge the gulf between us.”

  In the dining-room there occurred some hesitation over Harriet’s seat, which Buttermere, in the failure of definite directions, had deliberately placed.

  “Sir Godfrey,” said Dominic, standing to elucidate the position, “I think we are all agreed that that is a place we should prefer to see unoccupied.”

  “It is my duty to prevent that,” said Rachel, taking the seat, and putting her fan on the table.

  “Lady Hardisty, I appreciate your attitude. You are doing more,” said Dominic, turning on her a gaze that seemed to swell for different reasons.

  “I am doing nothing, but it is better for them all not to see the place empty.”

  “Lady Hardisty, mine was the simpler masculine view. I bow to a woman’s deeper insight in these matters.”

  “Ah, you set us an example, Spong,” said Godfrey, as his guest gave a sudden rapid murmur, checked his haste and openly rounded his utterance, and looked towards the window.

  “That was far from my thoughts, Sir Godfrey.”

  “True. It was not the view he thought we should take of it,” said Matthew.

  “He showed true courage,” said Jermyn.

&n
bsp; “But he showed it so plainly,” said Griselda. “That is hard on others.”

  “It had always been the custom of my wife and myself,” Dominic was saying, “to begin and end a meal with blessing and thanksgiving. I admit it would materially lessen my enjoyment of a repast to feel that either was omitted.”

  “’Materially’ is an excellent word,” said Gregory. “Of course it is wise not to omit them.”

  “I confess,” said Dominic with a touch of asperity and suspicion, “that I never do omit them, whatever difficulties may be placed in my way.”

  “No difficulties are in your way here, Spong,” said Godfrey. “And I think it is a very good plan to express our gratitude for what is given us, as though we were not ashamed of it. We have grace on formal occasions; I don’t know why we gave it up amongst ourselves.”

  “Not because you were ashamed, if you have it before guests,” said Rachel; “though they say that showing in true colours is especially hard in family life.”

  “It was nothing more than the change of fashion, I think,” said Godfrey.

  “It is hardly the sphere, Sir Godfrey, in which the dictates of Dame Fashion need be meticulously adhered to,” said Dominic, as if his host’s position were sufficiently established to allow of entertaining lightness.

  “I don’t see any sense in fashion if it is not adhered to,” said Griselda.

  “No, Miss Griselda, that is the view you would very naturally take.”

  “I wish I could use a word like ‘meticulously’ as a matter of course,” said Gregory.

  “Gregory,” said Dominic, “may I ask why?”

  “Because of the effect of modern reading,” said Gregory.

  “I felt that for a moment,” said Rachel. “But that effect would not fit the atmosphere I try to create.”

  “I entirely concur, Lady Hardisty,” said Dominic, “that that is not a department in which you need take any steps to emulate me.”

  Gregory and Griselda laughed.

  “It appears, Sir Godfrey,” said Dominic with a good-natured chuckle, “that these young people are engaged in holding up to ridicule such old fogeys as you and me. We must not include Lady Hardisty in that category.”