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“No, you have not seen her,” said Ninian, as if he need say no more.
“Now I am interrupting an occasion?” said Miss Starkie. “The voices warned me that the schoolroom was deserted. And I had no wish to reign in solitary state.”
“It is an occasion indeed,” said Ninian. “Or I hope I may say it is. I have been breaking a piece of news to them, the news of my coming marriage. Now that it is broken, I am sure you will congratulate me.”
“There is no need to say it, Mr. Middleton. And I would congratulate someone else, if convention allowed it. As it is, I do so in my heart. Well, children, you have had great news. You will find it hard to settle down.”
“If you think we can’t, I suppose we shan’t have to,” said Leah. “What difference will it make?”
“None, if I can help it. And I will not countenance much. We know our standard.”
“She doesn’t want there to be any change,” said Leah to Hengist.
“Not for the worse, certainly,” said Miss Starkie. “It would be an odd wish. If you can make one for the better, I will be the first to welcome it.”
“Suppose the—the new wife wants to teach us herself?” said Leah.
“Well, I see no reason to suppose it,” said Miss Starkie, laughing. “I think you take an optimistic view of yourselves and your requirements.”
“It would save expense for herself and Father,” said Hengist. “She will be his wife and will share everything.”
“Well, I don’t think you can expect her to share you. It will be my task to keep you from encroaching on her.”
“Father said she would share all of us with him,” said Leah.
“Oh, in that sense,” said Miss Starkie, and dismissed the subject.
“Will she be over Grandma, or will Grandma be over her?” said Hengist.
“What a question to ask! They will not see things in that way.”
“She will manage the house, and Grandma will advise her,” said Ninian. “So both the ideas are true.”
“Will she be glad to have children?” said Leah.
“Stepchildren,” said Lavinia.
“Will they make her more important?”
“Well, it would hardly be thought. They will show that her husband has had a life with someone else.”
“Do you mean with Mother or with you?” said Hengist.
“I meant with Mother. But it has been with both.”
“Well, now it will be with neither,” said Ninian, with his ruthless note. “It cannot be with the one, and should not have been with the other. It is a thing that need not be said.”
“And so need not have been,” said Hugo.
“And people do not think in that way,” said Miss Starkie to her pupils.
“How do they think?” said Lavinia. “Is there another way?”
“You must prevent this child from being too mature and cynical, Miss Starkie,” said Ninian, with a hand on his daughter’s shoulder. “It is my fault that she talks beyond her years, without the knowledge to justify it. It is for you to put it right, as you have put right so much.”
“Is it not for you, Ninian?” said Hugo. “It is you who have made the mistake and want it rectified.”
“That is my reason for leaving it in better hands than mine.”
“Lavinia has learnt so many things easily and well, Mr. Middleton, that I am sure she will learn this. If she has been drawn too soon into the grown-up world, it will do her no harm to realise it. And perhaps she can have a foot in both worlds. That would be a fair compromise. We must try to see the matter through her eyes.”
“Well I must go,” said Ninian. “I need not say to whom. I am happy in not having to go far. But I shall be happier when we can both stay.”
The silence after he had gone was ended by Miss Starkie.
“Well, we have had a break in our day. We must go and do better with the rest. I think Lavinia and Egbert will be staying with their grandmother.”
“So she knows I should not be alone,” said Selina. “And she knows people have a right to what is theirs. What use is wisdom in the wrong place?”
“Is she too good to be a governess?” said Agnes, lingering behind.
“Few people are too good for things. And no one is too good to be left unprovided for.”
“You will not be the mistress any longer, Grandma,” said Egbert. “I can’t keep the thought to myself.”
“I have had that change before. I don’t know what I shall be. It is for someone else to decide. I daresay she has done so.”
“What power a woman can have!” said Lavinia. “And how she can be in the power of another! Father must have known it.”
“I wonder if this one can use power,” said Egbert.
“Not without misusing it,” said Selina. “Few of us can do that. There is little hope that she is one of them. And we see that she will have it.”
“What shall I do in the times when I was alone with Father?” said Lavinia, taking refuge in open words.
“What I shall,” said her grandmother. “There will be nothing to do.”
“Not for me,” said Hugo. “I shall spend more time with Lavinia. I don’t know if I am grateful to Ninian or vindictive towards him. People can be unsure of their own feelings. It means they have two kinds.”
“Grandma, will you leave us?” said Egbert. “We must say the things that are not for you to hear.”
Selina nodded and left the room, lifting her shoulders in resignation to her duties, as long as they remained to her.
“So Father is to marry a wife,” said Egbert. “It is very masculine of him. I have always appreciated his feminine streak. And now I am afraid it is not there.”
“People ought not to marry openly,” said Hugo. “It is one of those things that should be recognised but veiled.”
“It is humbling to accept what is to do you harm,” said Lavinia. “It means you put others before yourself, and naturally that is despised. It is odd that it is held to be esteemed.”
“I was grateful to you and Miss Starkie, Uncle,” said Egbert. “Father can’t shut his eyes to all human claims.”
“He said all was fair in love and war. I have always thought it an immoral saying.”
“It means the opposite of what it says. But why say all is unfair in love and war? We all know it. Anyhow Father does.”
“He feels I have failed him,” said Lavinia. “And knows it would be worse for him, if I had not.”
“He is too sunk in his own life to remember anything,” said Egbert.
“And we are to find that comforting? Suppose we followed his example!”
“This will pursue us to the end. In old age we shall remember being cast from our place.”
“In our youth we shall suffer it. And it may lead to things we can foresee.”
“I did not dare to ask Father what she was like,” said Egbert.
“I purposely did not ask him. I did not want to show interest in her. And so showed how much I had.”
“I hope I shall never have the feelings of a normal man,” said Hugo. “I am sure he is more normal than anyone else.”
“May I clear the table now, sir?” said Ainger, at the door, looking past Lavinia, as though to spare her.
“Yes, clear it, of course. Other people will be coming in.”
“So the news has transpired, sir,” said Ainger, as he pursued the task. “Changes come and carry us with them.”
“That sounds more comfortable than it is.”
“This one was a surprise, sir? Those who are nearest! They may be too close to see.”
“That might be fortunate for them, if the closeness retained its virtue. But it loses it at the critical moment. Do you mean you were prepared?”
“Well, the wind blows, sir. And we know what is said.”
“I suppose it is always doing that,” said Lavinia. “I wonder more does not happen.”
“Well, an amount does, miss. Might I perhaps step to the door?
The cloth for the crumbs escaped my memory.”
“Oh, come in, Cook. So you were not surprised by the news?”
“Well, it was a matter of intuition, miss. And that has never been my weak side.”
“It seems it was ours, and that of the whole family.”
“Well, what is under our eyes, miss. And in your case experience was wanting.”
“Well, we have it now. And it is held to be an advantage. Though it can seem an odd view.”
“You put a face on it, miss,” said Cook, with a sympathy blunter than Ainger’s. “It is what is due. Some must not betray themselves.”
“How do you feel about having a new mistress?” said Egbert.
“It is a premature enquiry, sir. We have not dwelt on the matter. We have our occupations.”
“Surely this is one of them,” said Lavinia.
“Well, miss, it remains uncertain. We can only wait.”
“But all things come when we do that. It will do no good.”
“The master has his rights, miss. It has to be said.”
“It seemed it did have to. We all said it. I think he did so the most.”
“We are all held to have them,” said Ainger. “But I have asked myself what they are in my case.”
“Then you can answer yourself, Ainger,” said Cook. “You do not happen to be the subject.”
“Do you think about yours, Cook?” said Hugo. “It is a thing I have not had to do, as I am without them.”
“It is not a point to dwell on, sir. I have my place.”
“And I have mine,” said Ainger. “And it seems I shall always have it.”
“If you fill it, Ainger, and with your might,” said Cook. “The question has another side.”
“Well, fate can strike any of our party at any time,” said Ainger, whose speech gained freedom in the absence of Selina and Ninian.
“And whom do you include in the term? You are not coupled with those otherwise placed.”
“Destiny is over all of us, high or low.”
“And is it for one of the last to express the matter?”
“The candlesticks tarnish, miss,” said Ainger, polishing one as a pretext for lingering. “And things will have to be in shape. You have not seen the lady, I suppose?”
“Did you not use your ears at luncheon?” said Egbert.
“Well, his place was there, sir,” said Cook, in a condoning manner.
“Yes. Where else was he to use them?”
“How I used mine!” said Hugo. “I could not have borne to be anywhere else.”
“Only some of us should have ears,” said Ainger, shaking out his leather.
“Is the candlestick tarnishing already?” said Egbert.
“You need not touch on distinctions, Ainger,” said Cook. “There are states of life and we are called.”
“‘When Adam delved and Eve span,
Who was then the gentleman?’”
murmured Ainger, with a hint of revolving on his heels.
“And did you happen to be on the spot, then?”
“No, I have never heard there was a third. And anyhow it was not your humble servant.”
“Ainger, if it is a subject for lightness, it is time to withdraw. And do you think no one is present?”
“I regret the withdrawal,” said Egbert. “I needed comfort and I have had it.”
“So have I,” said Lavinia. “People in trouble are easily grateful. It confirms that we are in it.”
“What are you in?” said Selina, entering with her son.
“In a new position,” said Egbert.
“You make too much of it,” said Ninian. “Gossiping in here together! Why did you not go with the others?”
“You know we often stay behind,” said Lavinia. “Or you did know until today.”
“There is safety in numbers,” said Egbert. “Do we need the protection of the herd?”
“Your place is with it. Do you see yourselves as people apart?”
“As apart from the children. That is how we are seen. It is what we are.”
“You need not magnify the gulf. You can prove the parable of the faggot, if you hold together. But you must not make my wife and me afraid of you. Not that she is afraid of much.”
“Describe her to us, Father,” said Lavinia.
“Oh, you will see her for yourselves. There is no need to hurry forward. She has not asked for a description of all of you.”
“It would have been rash,” said Hugo. “Perhaps something warned her.”
“What are we to call her, Father?”
“Oh, it will be for her to say. I don’t know how she will see you. It may depend on yourselves.”
“What would you like yourself, Ninian?” said his mother. “You must have thought of it.”
“If you will believe me, I had not. There will be time to consider it. She will have enough of names. I have not deluged her with them.”
“You were wise,” said Egbert. “She has not Miss Starkie’s experience.”
“She will feel her own,” said Ninian, “if she is to be subjected to this.”
“How old is she, my son?” said Selina. “It is odd that I have not asked.”
“None of you can be accused of that kind of oddness. She is my age or a little older.”
“So there will be no children. Well, you will feel there are enough.”
“Yes, there is a full quiver. We do not need to add to it. Our life will be with each other.”
“She might like a child of her own,” said Egbert.
“What do you know about her?” said Ninian.
“Nothing. And it seems we are not to know more.”
“You will know in time, as I have said. You hardly seemed so anxious for what was before you.”
“That does not mean we should have no idea what it is.”
“You will all be at your best with her?” said Ninian, in another tone. “I feel I keep having glimpses of another side.”
“Few people can give a shock, without meeting those,” said Selina.
“Well, I am not one of them. And there is a risk that it may be remembered.”
“Well, do not forget that other people have memories.”
“How did you meet her, Father?” said Lavinia. “We can hardly speak of her without asking questions. And there is no one else in your thoughts.”
“Not long ago. Not far from here. And quite by chance.”
“And you were meant for each other?” said Selina. “So it might have been arranged before. Your mother would have thought of it.”
“So it is chance that leads us to retrace our steps,” said Egbert. “We speak of it too lightly. Nothing seems to achieve so much.”
“You show me you have never taken the steps,” said Ninian. “You make me wish for someone who has done so. When you and your sister were with me, you did not think of me as having no one but you. You did your best; you could not have done better; I am grateful to you. How could you know that in such a case it is the elder who suffers, that whatever you gave to me, I gave more to you? I ask for no change in yourselves, only that you will be what you have been. It is the change in you that disturbs me.”
“There is other change, my son,” said Selina. “You cannot expect them not to see it.”
“Of course there is change. I feel it in myself. I am doing what I am, to make it. It is time it came. I shall no longer live as the father and guide of other people. I shall live as myself, with someone who can return what I give. You find the change unwelcome? It is not to me. Have you really thought it is? In other words what are you to me?”
“Your mother, my son. It is what I shall always be. And if your wife does this for you, I will be her mother too. And a wary, wise old mother, if that is best for you. It will be what is best for me.”
“Some things are best for us all,” said Ninian, going to the door. “There is no good in putting our faculties to a doubtful use. I think we all see it.”
“So Father has thrown away the past,” said Lavinia. “What will he get from the future? We never recover what we have lost. He will not and I shall not.”
“They say there is never loss without gain,” said Hugo. “I have wondered if it is true. Now I am to lose Ninian, I shall find out. And I think it is.”
CHAPTER III
“Well, here is my family,” said Ninian. “The family that will be yours. I will only present my mother. You will distinguish the rest by degrees. This is enough for the moment.”
“What are we to call her?” said Hengist, in a low tone.
“Stepmother,” said Leah, with her face grave.
“Oh, I hardly think that will do,” said Miss Starkie. “And she is not that as yet.”
“We shall have to be told something,” said Hengist. “Or we must just say her and she.”
“Well, I hope you will not do that. You have been taught better.”
“It need not be settled at the moment,” said Ninian. “It is hardly an urgent question.”
“I had not thought of it,” said his future wife. “And it does not matter.”
“We could say Mother if she would like it,” said Agnes, gently.
“Oh, she does not want to adopt the tribe,” said her father. “That is asking too much.”
“Agnes didn’t ask it,” said Hengist. “What she said was different.”
“Perhaps my Christian name would do. I can’t think of anything better.”
“It would be almost worse for children to say, than she and her,” said Leah.
“Well, I know what you mean,” said Miss Starkie. “And I can understand the feeling. But it is not for you to decide.”
“Luncheon is ready, ma’am,” said Ainger at the door.
“Why did he say it to Grandma and not to her?” said Hengist.
“Grandma is the mistress of the house,” said Ninian. “The change has not come yet. And say Mrs. Chilton for the time.”
“Mrs.?” said Leah, looking up. “Then has she a husband?”
“No, she is a widow. And you had better know she has no children. She may be congratulating herself on it.”
“Now you know everything,” said Miss Starkie. “So you need not ask anything more.”