Men and Wives Page 8

  Dufferin remained with his brows knit, and Harriet waited willingly, for him to take the necessary counsel with himself. He turned his gaze on her face again, and she lifted her eyes to his, to let him see what was to be seen. By the way his own eyes fell she knew that he had seen it, and again waited.

  “Well, and you say you have no self-control,” said Dufferin.

  “No, I have none, Antony,” said Harriet, and at the sound in her voice he spoke.

  “Look here, I will give you this. You give me no choice. No, that is not true. Every man has a choice. I choose to give you this.”

  He unlocked a closet, and gave a bottle containing a tablet, into Harriet’s hand. “An hour or two after you have swallowed that, you will sink into a sleep, into the sleep you mean. You have it in your hands. But you will not use it. You are a person of too much quality to leave it to somebody else to feel he helped you to that. But if you should ever take it, and regret it the next moment, as I know you are human enough and woman enough to do, take that moment to send for my help.”

  He turned and fastened the door of the closet, and Harriet stood with the bottle in her hand, and a great security in her face. As they went downstairs she turned to him with a natural voice and smile.

  “Mrs. Christy has come to shepherd her lamb,” she said.

  “Why, Lady Haslam, when I came to recover my truant, I did not expect a definite reward for my duty. It is the drawback of our little town, that while we have plenty of society among ourselves in our Cranford-like way, few towns more, I should think, we do not often see our friends from the wider sphere. We go in for depth rather than breadth of intercourse. Of the two I give the palm to depth, but it is refreshing to feel we are debarred from nothing under the pleasant head of fellowship.”

  “Poor Mother! What depths of middle-class yearning you reveal!” said Camilla.

  “I have come to take you home, you fly-away girl. Lady Haslam will blame me for all your wildness. I ought always to have kept a firmer hand on you.”

  “I am not in the town so very seldom. You must let me come and see you,” said Harriet, who never showed social or moral aloofness. “I am fond of our little town.”

  “I am so glad you agree with me in recognising its appeal. So many of my friends accuse me of eccentricity in electing to live in it.”

  “They could hardly accuse you of poverty in being forced to,” said her daughter.

  “Its old-world charm, its hints of memory and atmosphere, it echoes of the older, graver things of the past! I was under the spell in a moment. I confess it without any beating about the bush.”

  “You don’t manage that,” said Camilla.

  “And these revelations that the restored church has made to our enchanted scrutiny! The shaping of those old lineaments, so quaint and strong, so almost threatening to our modern eyes! It goes to confirm my original view. I almost feel I was a person gifted with vision.”

  “I must make a point of seeing them,” said Harriet.

  “No, don’t make a point of being threatened by those gargoyles, dear Lady Haslam,” said Camilla. “They are so rude and useless. They haven’t even threatened Mother out of the town.”

  “Don’t you like the town, my dear? Do you mean you want a larger town? I love the country myself.”

  “Lady Haslam, the country throws so much counterweight into the scales. It offers such an unfailing appeal to our aesthetic side. The sobering tints of the autumn, the high lights of the spring, even the hard austerity of winter with its promise of what is to come! The call of Nature has always struck me as the deepest and truest summons that we have.”

  “I hope I shall stay in the country all my life,” said Harriet. “I think I may say that I shall. I feel sometimes that my sons should try their wings further afield.”

  “I have such an admiration for your sons, and their disinterested subordination of themselves to their ideals. Matthew sacrificing London success to the austerer claims of essential science, so much more abstract, and fraught with so much less worldly reward! And Jermyn finding the service to his Muse ample exchange for academic laurels! I often think that, if any mother has true pride in her children, you must be that mother, Lady Haslam.”

  “You feel the force of contrast,” said Camilla.

  “I think an ordinary pride does an ordinary mother as well,” said Harriet, as she took her leave.

  “Mother, what a spectacle you make of yourself!” said Camilla. “You remind me of a dog waiting to snap, when you stand there panting to put in your words.”

  “Camilla, how can you speak in such a way? Lady Haslam and I would have so much in common, if we could see more of each other. You heard her say she must come and see me. Your talking like that only shows how little observation you have.”

  “I observed her. She is a high-minded old tyrant. I quite adore her. But it is no part of my duty to do her bidding.”

  Chapter IX

  Harriet Was In her seat at the table when her family came in to luncheon after church. Her eyes seemed to pierce at once to the truth, that the religious observance was a basis for their meeting with herself. Jermyn began to speak as he entered the room.

  “Well, Bellamy was in great form this morning, Mother. He showed himself prodigal of his histrionic powers. It is well enough for Bellamy, who simply concentrates on making the best of himself, but less satisfying for anyone else. We had only to sit and feel nothing in comparison.”

  “Ah, my dear boys! You were there all together with your father,” said Godfrey, walking in a subdued manner to his seat.

  “Was it a good sermon?” said Harriet in a colourless tone.

  “The best we have had for a long time. We had a word with Bellamy afterwards. He is coming in to tea,” said Gregory.

  “Yes, he said he would come in,” said Griselda, striking her knee with her hand.

  “It is a trying time for him just now,” said Harriet.

  “Yes, yes, it is, Harriet,” said Godfrey, with a tentative eye and eager corroboration. “It is a thing that might be too hard for any man, before which the stoutest heart might flinch.” He paused as though uncertain of his ground.

  “I saw Camilla this morning,” said Harriet, her manner forbidding comment. “I drove into the town to call on Antony; I wanted a word with him about my sleeplessness; and she had come in to see him. It is plain how hopeless she and Mr. Bellamy must have been as husband and wife.”

  “I don’t know that she and the doctor will be any better,” said Godfrey. “I am sorry she is dragging the doctor in her wake, that he is down again. Ah, Harriet, you were right to show a neutral feeling there. You are above looking down on your fellows. People will take their cue from you. You have done good to a friend.”

  “Antony has done all he can for me,” said Harriet.

  “Camilla could never have satified Bellamy,” said Matthew. “For one thing her eyes would not always have been turned on him.”

  “And why have opportunities if you waste them?” said Jermyn.

  “It does seem an odd profession for a man,” said Godfrey, his tone encouraged by his knowledge of his wife’s dislike of ritual rather than by his own training on this line, “to be twisting and turning and dressing himself up. I don’t know why we can listen to him better for that.”

  “We can look at him better,” said Gregory. “It is helpful to see him in different aspects. What other profession could he have, that would show him to such advantage? On the stage he would have to be disguised, and that would be unbearable.”

  “He makes me envious,” said Jermyn, “and takes off my thoughts, so that I hardly remember where I am.”

  “Oh, you think Bellamy a very handsome man?” said his father after a pause. “You think he is what a man should be? He is your type? Well, you know, I think I prefer something a little more solid, myself, something a little less effective and highly toned. A thought more weight and simplicity. Oh so you are all laughing, are you? You think I am ta
lking about myself. Well, I am not; I am doing nothing of the kind.” Godfrey drew his napkin over an unsteady mouth. “What are we coming to, if we can’t say a word about a man’s type, without being taken to be referring to our own? You were talking about yourself then, Jermyn, when you said that Bellamy made you envious. Well, he doesn’t make me envious; that is one thing.”

  “Of course I was talking about myself,” said Jermyn. “I hoped I had a better brain, and could make a concession in the matter of appearance.”

  “Oh, that is what you thought!” said his father. “Well, I am sure there is nothing I need mind. Oh, why Harriet, it is worth while making a butt of myself to see you laugh, my dear.”

  “It is always worth while to display ourselves at our highest and best,” said Gregory.

  “You are showing off, Father,” said Matthew. “You and Bellamy are a pair.”

  “Oh, well, I wasn’t presuming to identify myself with him, such a fine fellow as you think him!” said Godfrey.

  “Mother, you had better go and rest,” said Griselda. “You might get to sleep for an hour before Ernest comes.”

  “Yes, darling, you shall do what you like with me. I will come and do as I am told. I feel I might sleep myself.”

  “Well, I am thankful that that luncheon is over,” said Godfrey, putting his hands behind his head, and surveying his sons in recognition of an occasion for letting forth his thoughts on equal terms. “Upon my word I was in a panic all through church. I didn’t hear a word of the sermon, not a syllable. I kept on being afraid I should be asked about it at luncheon; ha, ha, I did. Through all Bellamy’s antics I was going over the scene, and totting up the reckoning, until I was fit to swoon. Ah, I am not so unlike your mother as she thinks. I understand what a storm of nerves is as well as anyone. It doesn’t make it any better that it has to be bottled up. I was in a cold sweat when I came into this room, and faced your mother at this table. If ever a man walked up to the cannon’s mouth, I did then. And all of you at my side, my poor boys, not guessing what was ahead! And my poor girl upstairs now, doing what she can! Ah, well, I daresay it has been for the best. It may have done its work, what we have faced. For it was not your mother who faced the most. I declare I had been accusing myself of arrant cowardice, and of behaving to a woman as no man should, and no gentleman could, and that woman my wife; and of encouraging you to do the same! It has been something to go through. Well, I think I will lose myself here, without troubling to get into the library; the library is right across the hall. You can tell me when the rector is due to arrive; Ernest, I suppose we shall have to call him, as Grisel seems to be tending in his direction. Yes, I will let myself go off as I am; I don’t care what Buttermere thinks.”

  Godfrey put the paper over his face, and Buttermere, entering, gave a start, and tiptoed round the table with elaborate quiet.

  “If Father did care what Buttermere thinks, he would go through a good deal,” said Jermyn, as they went to the library.

  “And he speaks of himself as already refined by suffering,” said Gregory.

  “I wish I could get not to care. I am terribly ashamed of Father before Buttermere,” said Jermyn.

  “Well, shall we lose ourselves or not?” said Gregory.

  “Let us rather find ourselves,” said Matthew. “We don’t often get the chance of both our parents’ absence.”

  “Matthew, you should say behind people’s backs what you would say to their faces,” said Gregory.

  “Father sets us the example,” said Matthew.

  “In a fundamental way he does,” said Gregory. “Well, Grisel, is all well upstairs?”

  “So well that it makes me nervous about the reaction.”

  “Are we all to begin to be nervous again?” said Matthew.

  “It is best not to break the habit,” said Griselda. “It should become second nature.”

  “Do we ever break it?” said Matthew.

  “Well, that comes well from you,” said Jermyn. “You broke it at breakfast this morning:, we had cause to observe.”

  “I wonder if I did,” said Matthew. “Perhaps I was in the furthest stage of it. Extremes meet.”

  “Well, then, they met,” said Griselda.

  “I am not now quite clear what Matthew has done,” said Gregory.

  “His best,” said Jermyn.

  “No one can do more,” said Gregory.

  “Not more than he did, certainly,” said Griselda.

  “I can’t even now believe I did it,” said Matthew.

  “Shall we go back and realise it?” said Jermyn.

  “No, not worth it,” said Matthew.

  “Extremes met!” said Gregory.

  “I feel that virtue has gone out of me,” said Matthew.

  “Well, a good deal did get out,” said Griselda.

  “Virtue too,” said Gregory. “No wonder Mother could not bear it.”

  “I wonder if I shall be made to pay,” said Matthew.

  “I wonder,” said Jermyn. “Let us put it to the vote.”

  “What are you putting to the vote?” said Harriet, coming into the room.

  “We are voting——” said Jermyn.

  “About Matthew’s future,” said Gregory. “Will Matthew’s efforts win reward or not?”

  “I cannot say,” said Harriet, looking at Matthew.

  There was a silence.

  “Didn’t you get off to sleep, Mother?” said Griselda.

  “Darling, you see I did not,” said Harriet, stroking her cheek. “I could hardly have got off to sleep, and awakened, and got on my dress, and done my hair, and come down to you here, all in the space of these few minutes, could I?”

  “You have been upstairs half an hour,” said Matthew.

  “Not since Griselda left me,” said Harriet in a barely articulate tone, as if the words were hardly worth enunciating. “And even if it were half an hour, that is not long for all I said, is it?” She advanced slowly across the room.

  “Our vote is decided,” said Jermyn in a low tone to Griselda.

  Griselda gave a startled laugh, and her mother looked at her with appraising indulgence, and turned to survey the shelves.

  “Well, shall we have our weekly reading? Or are you all settled with books of your own?”

  “Don’t say things on purpose to make us feel awkward,” said Jermyn. “You can see we are all idling about, doing nothing.”

  “And after all you have just come from your bed,” said Matthew.

  “Well, as we have all been resting together, let us all begin to read together. I wonder if Matthew would like to keep awake all night with me,” said Harriet in a light tone.

  “Here is a lovely book!” said Gregory. “Lives of Mothers of Great Men. When Matthew and Jermyn are great, I shall write your life, Mother. I shall have that sort of position in the family. ‘Gregory Haslam was not without his share of the family gifts.’ I shall be the ‘not without’. I ought to be collecting material. ‘On Sunday afternoons her sons gathered round her.’ I shan’t make mention of Griselda; a daughter weakens it. Daughters don’t have to owe everything to their mothers. I suppose they don’t owe it to anybody. It would have to be their fathers, which is absurd.”

  “You begin reading, Matthew,” said Harriet, showing her readiness to place an injunction on her eldest son.

  When Bellamy arrived, he stood for a moment regarding the family group; and Godfrey came up behind him and caught his expression.

  “Well, now, Rector, you don’t often glimpse a scene of this kind. This sort of tableau doesn’t come your way. It is a pretty sight, a mother with her ducklings round her, even when the ducklings are getting to be drakes. A sight that never loses its human appeal.”

  “Ducklings! Human appeal,” said Gregory.

  “You know I don’t understand what it is to find my home looking as if a hearth were part of it,” said Bellamy. “Home life ceased for me when I lost my mother. It makes it all the better to have a glimpse of it now.” />
  He turned his smile on Harriet, who was regarding him with hospitable kindness.

  “Well, come into the drawing-room and have some tea,” said Godfrey. “We will all have tea together, a family party round the fire.”

  “Now that will be the nicest thing in the world for me,” said Bellamy.

  “Yes, I thought that was the sort of thing you would fancy, Rector,” said his host, leading the way in this undoubting spirit.

  “We were all very jealous of the figure you made in the pulpit this morning, Bellamy,” said Jermyn.

  “I declare that they were. I give my word that that is so, Rector, Bellamy, Ernest,” cried Godfrey. “They kept on and on about it, the impression you made, the appearance you had, and all of it, until I felt the feeblest little figure beside you. I assure you I did.”

  “Oh, well, a little flattery doesn’t come amiss. It won’t count much in the welter of other things,” said Bellamy. “All that seems to matter, Lady Haslam”—he looked at Harriet and spoke in a deep, sweet, hopeless tone—“is whether a man is prepared to make a complete sacrifice of himself to a woman. His future, his profession, his fair name, his chance of happiness with another woman, that woman’s chance of happiness with him is all to go. And I can never take to this view of woman as a prettier, lighter, lower being, with whom men cannot live on terms of give and take. I don’t mean that a man can’t throw a cricket ball farther than a woman, or a woman watch by a sick-bed better than a man.”

  “It is surely something to be prettier and lighter, and to watch by a sick-bed better,” said Matthew.

  “Matthew,” said Bellamy with affection on the Christian name, “I am not suggesting that we should not appreciate women, but that we should not look down on them.”

  “It is surely impossible to avoid doing both,” said Matthew.

  “Yes, well, there is something in that, Matthew,” said Godfrey with amused rumination. “Of course that is what we do do, how we look at them, if we come to think of it.”